A Passing of a Season

November 9, 2008

As many of you know my grandmother passed away this past week. It has been a time of sadness, but also a time of joy. As we were walking out of the funeral to head to the cemetery my brother made a comment that Grandma's mother had been waiting 96 years to finally meet her. Grandma has lived a long and eventful life. She leaves behind 10 children, 44 grandchildren and 77 great-grandchildren.

This past summer I was able to spend a lot of time with grandma. Grandma needed a little extra help getting ready for bed so I volunteered to help out one day a week. At first I dreaded going, but it soon became the highlight of my week. I was able to take a break from the kids and spend a couple hours visiting with grandma. I could always make her laugh and it was fun to get to know her silly side.

A couple of weeks ago when I came to put her to bed I found out she had been to the ER. Grandma was very tired and didn't feel very well. Things seemed to go down hill from there. She was soon placed in an Assisted Living. Everyone hoped that the transition would be smooth, but Grandma didn't seem to be getting the help she needed and seemed to be getting worse. They soon moved Grandma back home. Last Sunday I was asked to sit with her for a spell. She was very different from the last time I saw her. She was extremely restless and couldn't get comfortable. She was finally able to fall asleep for an hour or so before she woke up and became restless again. It made me wish the drugs worked better or that she could have better drugs that would make her final hours more peaceful.

On Monday I wasn't able to get up to see Grandma, but on Tuesday I was able to visit quite a few times. I left Wednesday morning at about 12:15 am and Grandmas passed away a couple of hours later.

These past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion. On one hand I am happy for Grandma. She is finally able to be free of this mortal body that failed her long before her mind ever did. She will also be reunited with her mother and husband. However, I do feel a sense of loss. No more going to get Grandma dinner, getting her ready for bed or just spending an hour or two visiting with her. I also feel that we are seeing a changing time. At the funeral yesterday I looked around at all my relatives and released that we might not be together again like this for a very long time. We are an amazing family and we will always have a tight family bond. I am glad I grew up in such a big family with so many aunts, uncles and cousins. And all though Grandma wasn't a traditional Grandma I still loved her and will miss her very much.